Don't Want It
by Sull89
Summary: One shot. Something finally makes Winry realize why Edward does the things he does. Now, she finds herself questioning some of her own actions.


Furrowing her brow, Winry pulled away from her latest project for a moment to stretch as she tried to figure out how to work her way around this next obstacle. Wiping away the sweat that had gathered around her temples with a quick flick of her ever present rag, the automail mechanic sighed and shook her head, "I'll have to ask Grandma about it. There are a few different things I can think of, but I'm not sure which would be best in the long run…"

Ed looked up from the book lying in his lap, marking his spot with one finger before turning slightly to watch the girl across from him fiddle just a bit more with the mass of metal and wire that rested in front of her. Curiosity at her words finally overcoming him, the boy questioned Winry gently, knowing how volatile she could be when working, "Ask Aunt Pinako about what?"

Poking at a few more wires with her needle-nosed pliers, it took Winry a moment to answer her current customer and long time friend, yet when she finally did so her voice was strong as ever, "Oh, nothing major. I've just come up with a new concept for your arm, but I'm not sure how to implement it properly." Rolling her shoulders back in a stretch, Winry now placed her wrench down on the bench beside her as she continued to talk, "I need to run my ideas past Grandma and see which one she thinks would be best, that's all."

With a slight nod, Ed silently accepted Winry's answer and went back to perusing his book without another word; he figured it was best to leave her be if she was truly in the middle of something like that. Flexing his automail toes absentmindedly as he read, the young man let the gentle spring sounds carried by the Resembool wind and the new, quiet motions of a scratching pen against parchment lull him back into a calm, almost meditative demeanor.

How much time passed while Edward was in this state he didn't know, but it was the sharp feeling of metal prodding into his side that brought him back to reality. Blinking, he looked up from his book (the one in which he hadn't turned a page in over half an hour) to see Winry standing in front of him, her arms crossed and the intruding object, her wrench, grasped firmly in one fist. "So you've finally decided to come back to us, I see," although Winry's stance might have indicated hostility or aggression, her tone was soft and actually carried hints of laughter within it, "I've been calling to you for the passed five minutes, you know."

Ed blinked at Winry once, still a bit out of it, now trying to figure out why she would spend that much time trying to get his attention without resorting to violence; after all, usually she'd only call to him once before the wrench came flying in his direction. He was grateful for the seemingly sudden change though and smiled at her quietly, "Sorry, Win'. I must have drifted off; what did you need?"

It took his words a minute to penetrate Winry's mind, as she was having trouble convincing herself that he actually spoke them; did he honestly just apologize to her and ask her what she needed for once, instead of it being the other way around? Shaking her head slightly at this new and confusing development, Winry nevertheless returned Ed's smile before she spoke, "I think I've finally figured out how to best change your automail, but I wanted to ask you something first, before I did anything."

Ed nodded for her to continue, expecting another of the questions he always got when he came to the Rockbell home: how often do you get into fights, how severe are they, how many times do you use your alchemy on your arm in a day…

The answers, vague, veiled meanings hidden behind a few hopeful, yet not promising words, were just like the questions; always the same. Until his mission was complete Ed figured that it would stay that way, too. There was one thing he wished he wouldn't ever have to see again though, and that was the look of sadness and fear that crept onto Winry's face when she found out that his response to her ever constant questions hadn't changed.

As he prepared himself once again to speak the perpetual half truths he always gave her, Winry caught Ed totally off guard, "Are you happy with your automail?" Reaching behind her to grip her left elbow in her right hand, Winry looked down at her feet, studying the knot it the hardwood floor under her intently, "I mean… does it work how you want it to, properly, the first time?"

Blinking, Ed watched Winry's face for a moment, thinking over her unexpected question. He continued to stare at her for the length of time she ran her eyes over the floor, but finally, when she looked at him from under her lashes, Ed latched onto her eyes with his own as his voice called her chin up as well, "Of course it does, Winry; it always has." A semi-shadowed look flicked across her features, startling Ed even more and moving him to ask, "Why?"

Gently biting her lower lip, Winry drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before exhaling. Quiet floated through the room for a few seconds before Winry's soft voice tore it to shreds, "If it's so great, why does it keep breaking?" Winry's gaze moved toward her wrench, still gripped in her free hand, "If I'm so good at what I do, why do you keep coming home in tatters?"

Now confusion kicked into to mingle with the guilt that Ed had already been feeling. A pensive, thoughtful frown overtook his lips, tugging down on their corners as he shook his head, "You've told me the answer to that a thousand times." Winry turned her gaze back to him now, questing for the explanation he gave her next, "You said it yourself; I'm reckless, remember?"

Winry swallowed, mimicking Ed's earlier movement now as her hair swung slightly in companion with her head, "That shouldn't have anything to do with it, Ed."

Finally rising from his recumbent position, Ed swung his legs off the couch, groaning slightly as muscles that hadn't been moved in a few hours took the strain of his body, sans an arm, from the small couch. Steadily on his feet now, his book lying forgotten on one cushion, Edward stood beside Winry, waiting for her to make the next move.

Cautiously, the young woman turned until she could see Ed fully and was met with a huge surprise; they were eye to eye, now. Dredging the recesses of her mind, Winry tried to remember the last time they'd been standing this close together, and with another shock she realized it hadn't been since the last time she had seen him in Resembool; almost a full year before.

Gaping slightly at this new development, it took Winry a moment to see the silent question in Ed's eyes. Yet again, he wanted to know why. With a sigh, Winry broke eye contact with him once more, but she held back any other outward signs of distress, "No matter what you do, that automail should stay whole." Now she let go of her elbow to press both palms together, holding her wrench between them, "It's supposed to help you, not put you in even more danger."

Ed's frown deepened ever so slightly, "What are you talking about, Winry?" He grew silent, waiting on a response, but it didn't come. Winry continued to just look at him through sidelong glances, her entire demeanor all the sudden downtrodden. "You know just as well as I that anything that happens to my automail is my fault," the alchemist told her, his voice stern. "You used to blame it all on me, too," Edward gave a lopsided smile, taking a moment to actually poke a little fun at himself, "and you were right. So what brought on this sudden change?"

"… Time, I guess," Winry shrugged, finally putting her wrench down on the side table and taking a seat on the couch Ed had deserted a few minutes earlier. "Coming to the realization that you don't do things just for the hell of it, hearing about everything you've done for others…" Shaking her head, Winry actually laughed slightly, although Ed heard hints of sadness still lingering within the sound, "They say you're still an alchemist of the people, Ed; even though you work for the State."

Instead of remaining standing to loom over her, Edward joined Winry, resting on the cushion next to hers. "I never sold my soul to them, you know;" he told her, his tone joking, "really, I just needed the research and funds they could provide me with; truth be told I really don't care what happens to this country as long as those I care about are safe." Shrugging, the young man added a few more words to his statement, although these flowed from his lips in complete seriousness, "A new government might actually bring life and understanding back to this place; you know, a little tolerance."

Twisting her hands in her lap, Winry intertwined her fingers in the fabric of her pants as she spoke, "See? That's just it." Now the woman latched onto his gaze with her own, "They've been calling you that since you were fifteen…" Momentary confusion overtook Ed at this seemingly abrupt change of topic, but then he realized Winry was talking about the fact that people though him a decent State Alchemist as she went on, "That was three years ago, but to be honest with you I only found out a few months back." Biting her lower lip slightly, Winry closed her eyes, breathing deep in the process, "What else don't I know, Ed? If it took that long for me to figure out that people looked up to and respected you as an alchemist not just because you're a prodigy, but because you really help the common person…" Her voice drifted off for a moment, but when it came back the emotion in it was astounding, "What else am I unaware of?"

Before Ed could get a word in edgewise, Winry kept questioning herself, "Who am I to say you're reckless, when I was never there? Why should I have the right hit you because you hurt something I made by trying to help others or save yourself?" The mechanic shook her head now, and reached out, pushing her wrench off the table it rested on and not even wincing as it hit the floor with a clang, "All I've ever done is shove more pain on you… Berate and yell at you… While you've done nothing but try to live best you can and regain the things you've lost."

Stunned at everything Winry just said, it took Ed a minute to form the words he wanted to respond with. Just as he had grasped them though, Winry cut into his thoughts again, "I'm the one who should have known that from the start, I should have!" Grimacing slightly, Winry shook her head at her own folly, "All this time I thought you were just out for you, but I should have known better than to think that! I know _you_ better than that!"

"My automail has to be there for you, you need something… someone… that's going to stand with you through all of this." Swallowing hard, Winry crossed her ankles and stared at the point they crossed, "I can't believe it took me this long to figure that out…" Now, in a move that astounded him, Winry leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest as she spoke, "I guess time changes everything, Ed, but I don't want it to change you."

* * *

Review, please.  
-Sull 


End file.
